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Black Dragons Only Live Twice

by: Robert Lee

PART 1 of 7:

The story begins with a van parked down the street from the North

Korean embassy, at night, in some unnamed Western city. Inside, are

three men, with a lot of advanced electronic surveillance equipment.

Basically, they are waiting for somebody to break into the building.

Subsequently, this person shows up, and the men monitor his

progress. They can even track his moves from the heat his body

emits. They watch in admiration as this person sneaks into the

embassy by exercising great stealth, cunning, and a few gimmicks

from Q branch.

Inside the building, we see that this person is James Bond. He

works his way into the communications room, and extracts a computer

chip of some sort. Unfortunately, for him, the security people

quickly discover that they have an intruder. James Bond is

cornered. The commanding officer declares that the penalty for

terrorism is death, and then he asks 007 what manner of death would

he prefer.

The men in the van are watching and hearing all this. One of them

shrugs his shoulders, saying that they will have to write this guy

off, and go to the backup plan. Obviously, they do not know James

Bond as well as we do. In typical Brosnan fashion, he makes a very

violent escape.

In the process, he shoots dead a dozen or North Korean security

guards. The three men in the van are watching the entire escape,

and commenting on it as he goes along. These men can tap into the

Embassyís security cameras and they have the entire floor map of the

building. They watch his heat signature as he moves throughout the

building. Basically, it is a play by play coverage of a James Bond

gun battle.

As James Bond makes good his escape, with the microchip, the team

leader sends a message "This is Number Two. The first phase is

complete. They have taken the bait." One of the men in the van

mutters that this person is either the luckiest, or the craziest

agent in the entire British Secret Service. Then another asks what

this personís name is. Number Two says, "His name is Bond. James

Bond." That would be the cue to go straight to the opening song,

preferably by Pink Floyd.

PART 2 OF 7:

There is a shipment taking place, which is a joint effort of British

and America forces, they are carrying some Delta 9 nerve gas for

disposal. However, the transport is intercepted and all the

soldiers are killed, by a strike team, executing its mission with

very thorough military precision.

Just before they make their getaway, one of them plants some

evidence, which just indirectly implicates the Japanese underworld.

The next morning, James Bond reports to headquarters for briefing on

his new mission. Q informs him that now that his department has the

computer chip, they cracked the code, which was named Magic 44.

British Intelligence can now interpret all the previous messages

that they managed to record. M asks Q if they can decode any future

messages. Q says no, because the North Koreans have switched to

another code.

However, Q does play a recorded message, which was sent shortly

after the Magic 44 was acquired. It mentions the hijacked nerve gas

shipment, and vaguely implicates the Japanese Underworld, the

Yakuza. Bill Tanner muses that perhaps a strike team was operating

under radio silence, and were never told to change codes.

It is essential to find this Delta 9 nerve gas. Contrary to what

others might have said, it is definitely fatal. M decides to send

Bond undercover. It just so happens that the Yakuza has been having

some problems with the Chinese triads trying to muscle in on their

territory. The Yakuza needs some heavy hitters. Therefore, Q has

created an identity for 007: Mark Hazard, charged five times with

murder, but released all five times.

Bond goes to Japan. Working undercover, he gets accepted by one of

the crime families. Number Two observes it all, and transmits a

message, "Let the Easter egg hunt begin."

PART 3 OF 7:

Bond gets along great with the head of the White Tiger family. He

is a smart, honourable, and likeable leader. Basically, he is a

rogue with a heart of gold. The White Tigers also find out that

Mark Hazard is tough and resourceful. He helps them to do battle

with the Chinese Triads, and the White Tigers are quite successful.

Number Twoís team is monitoring all this very closely.

Bond meets the White Tigerís top accountant, a beautiful female

named Mina. Bond looks her over, and with lust in his voice, says,

"A woman."

Mina looks back at him with disdain, and replies sarcastically,

"Your powers of observation do you credit, Mr. Hazard."

The White Tiger familyís biggest rival is another crime family

called the Black Dragons. However, both families agreed to put

aside their differences to combat the threat of the triads. The

Black Dragons offer to sell the White Tigers a large supply of truth

serum. It is curare with an effect psychedelic compound, providing

guaranteed results. Bond points out that it would cause permanent

brain damage.

The Black Dragon shrugs, "An unfortunate side effect."

To test out the product, they applied the drug to a captured Triad

thug. They manage to extract vital information, which the Yakuza

use to fight the Triads. The White Tigers purchase the truth serum.

Later on, some triad thugs try to kill both Mina and the head of the

family. Bond stops the thugs and kills them. In doing this, he

performs some outrageous stunt, and gets whacked on the head. When

he recovers, he really believes that his name is Hazard, Mark


Mark Hazard does some things that are definitely not consistent

with Bondís behaviour. Number Two is really amazed at the depths

that Bond is going to maintain his cover. He watches in further

amazement as Bond and the White tigers drive the Triads right out of


PART 4 OF 7:

The camera displays a large, well armoured jet airline in flight.

Actually, it is constantly flying around the world. Furthermore, it

is just full of extremely sophisticated electronic equipment. In

many ways, it is similar to Air Force One.

Inside the jet is a meeting room. Several men are entering the

room. Number Six is engaged in some small talk with Number Five,

"Is it true that you could run a small government from here?"

Number One is sitting at the head of the table. The camera never

shows his face, but we do see that he is petting a white cat.

Number One declares, "That is not quite true. You could actually

run a large government from here."

Anyway, enough chit chat. Number One demands a progress report on

Operation Gamma.

The organization has planted three pieces of evidence which will

implicate the White Tiger family with the nerve gas. The operative

from the British Secret Service has come across the first two pieces

of planted information. Once he comes across and transmits the

third piece of information, the frame will be complete.

The plan is to use the nerve gas to assassinate the Emperor of

Japan. It will look like North Korean did it, with some help from

the White Tigers. That will definitely ignite a war. All the

increased military action will create a huge black market, which

will benefit the Black Dragons. Furthermore, the Emperorís death

will create a huge public backlash will destroy their competitors,

the White Tigers.

Number Six disagrees with the plan, and tries to convince the rest

of the table not to take any part in it. Number One presses a

button. Number Six and his chair drop through a trap door in the

floor. He falls for a long, long time, and lands in the ocean.

Number One then asks, "Would anybody else care to drop out?"

Nobody else does. Number One then says, "Good. Then I will notify

our clients that war between North Korea and Japan will take place

within the next seven days."

PART 5 OF 7:

Meanwhile, back in Japan, Number Two observes that James Bond/Mark

Hazard comes across the third piece of information. Now, if James

Bond had his full memory, then he would do something with it.

However, Mark Hazard ignores the information completely.

Number Two starts getting concerned. Bond has not taken any action

on the third piece of information. Could it be that Bond has seen

through their masquerade? How much does Bond really know? Has he

received new orders? Number Two starts to get really nervous. He

decides to improvise on the plan.

Mark Hazard and Mina get together one evening, for a night of mad,

passionate sex. In the morning, both of them are captured by Number

Two and the Black Dragon family. They are taken an abandoned

warehouse on the waterfront. Number Two is furious with Bond. How

much does he know? When did he realize that it was a set up job?

Who has he told?

Of course, Mark Hazard denies all knowledge of James Bond. Number

Two reveals that the White Tigers are totally unaware that Mina is

an undercover agent of the North Korean Secret Service. Number Two

even threatens to kill Mina, unless Bond talks. Bond replies, "Go

ahead. Shoot her. She means nothing to me."

Number two decides not to kill Mina yet. He pumps Bond full of

truth serum. This is the same type of truth serum that the White

Tigers now possess. However, Bond still reveals nothing. The Black

Dragons force Bond to eat something which will implicate Mina as an

operative of the North Korean Secret Service.

The boss of the Black Dragons takes Mina to his headquarters, a

castle in the countryside. Number Two accompanies him. A couple of

Black Dragon thugs stay behind, with instructions to interrogate

Bond one last time in the morning, then kill him. Make it look like

White Tigers found out he was

working undercover, pumped him full of truth serum, and then

murdered him. When the autopsy is performed on Bond, his stomach

will have the clues which will incriminate Mina.

The boss of the White Tigers would have an extremely tough time

explaining why he has a member of the North Korean Secret Service on

his payroll. This will further "prove" that a conspiracy exists

between the White Tigers and the North Koreans.

While Bond is still in a drug induced coma, we can borrow a

technique from Forrest Gump. Display famous scenes from previous

James Bond movies. However, instead of showing Sean Connery or

Roger Moore, substitute Pierce Brosnan.

Scenario one:

Brosnan, as Bond, throws Jaws out of a train. Agent XXX asks what

happened. Bond answers, "He just dropped in for a quick bite."

Scenario two:

Brosnan, as Bond, saying, "Bless me father, for I have sinned."

Q replying, "Thatís putting it mildly, 007."

Scenario three:

Brosnan, as Bond, saying "Do you expect me to talk?"

Goldfinger saying, "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die!"

Scenario four:

Brosnan, as Bond, driving a speedboat, saying, "In England, we have

a saying: Where thereís smoke, thereís fire!"

Scenario five:

Tiffany Case pulls out some identification from the corpse of Peter

Franks. She looks at it and exclaims, "Youíve just killed James


Brosnan, with faked surprise says, "Is that who it was?"

PART 6 OF 7:

In the morning, the truth serum has mostly worn off. Mark Hazard

wakes up, and remembers he really is James Bond. He also remembers

that he has a standard issue laser hidden in his watch. He uses

this laser to break this handcuffs. Then he kills the two Black

Dragons left behind to dispose of him.

Bond madly dashes to the point where the bomb is set to explode, and

deactivates it. Then he contacts his friend in the CIA, Jack Wade.

Together, they meet with the boss of the White Tigers. Bond

explains the situation, and pleads for help to track down the Black

Dragons. He says, "These people are not just criminals, they are


The boss of the White Tigers agrees to show Bond where the Black

Dragonís headquarters is. In fact, he will accompany them for the

attack. He declares, "Iím been studying that place for years for

just such an opportunity!"

Just before dawn, Bond, Wade, some marines, and some White Tigers

descend into the castle by parachute. A vicious gun battle ensues.

The bullets are flying everywhere, and some glass gets broken,

which Mina uses to cut the ropes that bind her.

Number Two is surprised that Bond is still alive. Number Two

exclaims in disgust, "So much for Japanese efficiency!" The Black

Dragons are all killed. The nerve gas is recovered. Number Two is

the last person to elude capture. He runs into a large boat to

escape. However, Bond chases him on board and they engage in a

brutal, vicious hand to hand fight. During the struggle, the

controls are damaged. The boat launches and then speeds out of


Number Two gains the upper hand. He knocks Bond down, and then

picks up a gun, and aims it at 007. Number Two is about to shoot,

he says, "Your time has run out, Bond!"

Just then, Mina shoots in the Number Two in the back with a spear

gun. As he dies, she sneers at him, "Yours too, sooner than you


Number Two dies. Mina declares, "Iím glad I killed him."

With relief, Bond replies, "Youíre glad?"

The boat is still speeding out of control, and it is dangerously

heading towards some rocks. Bond and Mina jump ship, just before it

hits the rocks and explodes. The two climb on to some wreckage.


PART 7 OF 7:

Bond and Mina are floating on some debris in the Sea of Japan. Mina

admits that she is an accountant, but that she is also an operative

of the North Korean Secret Service. However, her assignment was

merely to observe economic trends. That was why she was assigned to

the Japanese Underworld. After all, organized crime does not file

annuals reports to its stockholders.

Bond informs Mina now that her cover is blown, she will need

protection. In fact, she will require the best agent available.

Mina asks who that would be. Bond smiles, kisses her, and says


Of course, Bond would have to check her out, head to toe. Mina

kisses him back, and asks if this is a standard operating procedure.

Bond replies that it is. In fact, there are thousands more, but he

only pays them lip service. All this kissing arouses Mina. She

takes off her clothes and says, "For your eyes only, darling."

A periscope pops out of the water. In the submarine, looking

through the glass, is Moneypenny. She observes that 007 is on top

of the situation, and she giggles, "James, I always knew that you

were a cunning linguist."

A few moments later, the vessel surfaces. Bond and Mina are scooped

up by the rising submarine. M tells Moneypenny to order Bond to

report in. Moneypenny would be delighted to do so...


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