Late Show Top Ten Lists
Top Ten Rejected James Bond Gadgets
November 20, 1995
10. Glove-compartment Slurpee machine
9. Super-itchy pants
8. Stapler with hidden scotch-tape dispenser
7. Self-cleaning Isotoner gloves
6. Special implants that turn 007 into a 009, if you know what I mean
5. Laser-action Flowbee
4. More-realistic-than-usual rubber vomit
3. Pepper grinder that dispenses a little too much pepper
2. Real killer-detecting nine iron
1. The Quiz Machine
Top Ten Surprises In The New James Bond Movie
December 18, 1997
10. Goodbye, Martinis -- Hello, Colt 45.
9. Bond's mission: To find the last "Sing 'n Snore Ernie."
8. He loses all his money when pickpocket guesses that his ATM code is"007"
7. He now introduces himself as "Bond. Jimmy Bond."
6. When he says, "Shaken, not stirred," bartender says, "Whatever you say, you fruity English bastard."
5. Cameo by Roger Moore wearing his actual uniform from Foot Locker.
4. For some reason, everyone refers to him as "Puff Bondy."
3. He does the whole movie in a lame, phony British accent.
2. During love scenes, 007 looks more like 003 and a half.
1. His only gadget: A really bitchin' waffle iron.
Top Ten Least Impressive James Bond Gadgets
November 20, 2002
10. Remote-control squirrel
9. Digital clock that is also a radio
8. An illegal cable box
7. Cuff links shaped like dice
6. Panasonic wet-dry beard trimmer with night vision
5. Football-shaped phone
4. A refreshing soda that combines both lemon and lime
3. Shampoo and conditioner in one
2. Futuristic green liquid that fights bad breath
1. Delicious low-fat cheesecake